Thursday, August 31, 2006

nostalgic night... hoobastank's the reason blaring on my radio speakers.. conversation with miran just ended.. emotions threathening to overwhelm me..
memories of the past, of national service, of good friends, of family, of unfulfilled tasks, of miran all flashed through, a headache i am having..
today is officially 1st sept, closer and closer i get to leaving this place i call home. last beach hut duty, last cco duty.. things i like doing, a new chapter in life.. some things i leave behind, some things i bring along.. when i think of all the happy memories that i have the past few years.. i can't help but smile, tears well up in my eyes.. i want to shelve this in my heart forever.. and ever..

now everything just seem like a dream.. day to day activity seems too fast to comprehend, things flash past without me knowing it.. i can feel miran's hands on mine at one moment, and the next thing i know i am at home sleeping and the night is gone followed by another day.. i wish time can stop.. now i have the sweetest times in my life pathed up in front of me... to aim to spend each and every day meaningfully and not waste much time..

It had been a while since i last blog, it is not because i am lazy or something, i just didn't have the time to do it. Anyway a short update.. i have been busy running around town opening bank account, paying for air tix and also getting stuff at comex.. admin stuff gets on my nerves big time... there are just so much to do and time is wasted..

pack pack pack, i need to get a rice cooker, make specs, get webcam, get a luggage bag, pack my clothes, neccessities ..etc quite a hassle.. i am gonna do things one at a time.. it wears me out thinking how much stuff i gotta do.. i deeply appreciate anyone dropping me a message, meeting me specially to catch up and all, i won't ever forget u friends..

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Lip En pours his heart again
at |6:03 PM|

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Beach Hut.. a place of many memories.. working there for a last breakfast left me feeling nostalgic.. i will definitely miss the saigang involved in working there, the slack times in which i simply look at the sea and daydream, the nice ang mohs, compliments by customers, different faces if people, after work skating, free gourmet coffee, vile concoctions of stuff and the friendships formed there. Though lowly paid, the vault of experiences and knowledge is invaluable, i served my first bottle of wine, this is crap but my first microwave experience was there too.. unreasonable customers u feel like strangling.. hahaa it is limitless.. throughly enjoyed working there.. looking back.. this working experience both at camp high achievers and beach hut... it is definitely going to accompany me long long into the future.. no time in the future am i going to work for 5 bucks an hour, how to survive with that meagre pay next time? and i have a bond to serve.. east coast is where i first met miran too.. i was working in beach hut.. and she cycled past.. yeah.. things got better from then huh..

this morning orange group people came over and had breakfast over here, it started raining but luckily they had great seats that allowed them to enjoy the view and yet stay dry.. thanks guys and gals for specially coming down, san may and chong wei had to wake up at 630.. feel paiseh man, but hope they enjoyed themselves.. coz i really did enjoy this last breakfast duty.. all the best to beach hut and everyone of the staff working inside.. au revoir beach hutters of the past present and future..

it is miraculous how having someone who loves you in your life can make such a big difference before and after.. i can feel myself slowing changing nad moving on to another stage in life.. i guess i am still raw at certain areas of handling relationships, but yet i was brought to places i never knew existed.. miran rekindled my last hope towards having a fulfilling relationship..

man.. this is damn gay, i am feeling sentimental in the middle of the night.. either i am damn horny or i am sleepy.. darn.. till next post...






*it takes forever to get someone to love you and a moment to lose*

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Lip En pours his heart again
at |3:47 PM|

after a long and arduous journey of city chain hopping for 2 days, finally found a watch that both me and dear agreed and think looks good on me.. somehow it looks quite alike her watch, it is kinda like a couple watch so there wasn't any violent disagreements.. i really gotta thank everyone hwo contributed to the cash voucher.. without i most prob can't get a watch so smoothly.. they firstly help me choose a place to get (city chain) and also allowed me to get it within a comfortable budget.. thanks miran!
anyway it is an adidas watch name called heritage.. it just suits me.. so no questions raised..apparently according to the girls my appearance improved once i doned the watch on, i didn't really understand then.. nor do i understand now, i just felt good to have something to look at time at on my hand.. yup..

at night, we headed down to attend sharon's birthday party.. it is amazing how fast everyone has grown.. 21 we have all become...i still cannot fully comprehend this truth..anyway, the party went well and the cake was worth mentioning.. it is delicious.. tasted like one super big ferrero rocher.. met some old friends there and yeah.. sharon has a one of a kind condominium.. very nice place. Period.

thought of the day :
* if only our inner voice can be as convincing as voices of others *

we are always searching for our inner voice.. but how dear do we actually hold it to our heart when we hear it? how much are we convinced by it... i believe what we tell ourself is more important than what other people have to say.. of course lessons can be learnt from others.. yet.. our lives are ours to live.. let's take a moment and listen to our inner voice... let it guide us and hold true to it.. coz if u can't trust yourself.. u can trust no one..

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Lip En pours his heart again
at |3:32 PM|

Friday, August 25, 2006

A normal day has passed... this leaves me wondering.. is a normal day more memorable.. or is a special day more impt.. regarding that i will be leaving soon..

Walking around town has always been part of usual pa-tuoing rituals since getting attached, feeling of walking around aimlessly with a girlfriend is definitely enjoyable, believe it or not. Shopped around for Jx's and sharon's present and luckily miran got good taste and foresight, we manage to get it in good time.

A gentle note to myself.. i gotta do my packing and purchasing of items pretty soon.. i'm not feeling good procrastinating all the time..

[ if you may.. do something that you enjoy
if you could.. do something for others
if you must.. do something for someone]

this is how i feel right now.. just before leaving.. with the short time that i have left.. there should be some priority on how i am spending my time.. ok.. number 1 rule.. i guess no more clubbing for me from now on.. total waste of time and no catching up with friends involved at all.. pubbing ok.. how can i ever give up my favourite brewerkz man..

to do it for someone.. and that someone will be none other than miran.. i will definitely set off to spend quality time together.. the blog is a testament to how i feel about this relationship.. no regrets at all.. miran you brought me to uncharted territories in my heart ever since u entered my life.. u left imprints deep in my heart.. there had been no one who entered my thoughts so often .. this relationship i will never give up.. fight on...

it is definitely so much easier to leave... however the ease of leaving of devouring me inside out.. the amount of hurt i can cause to people around me.. i can only imagine.. a major part of me
feels a longing down here.. yet.. i know i have to go.. i want to go too.. yes.. suffer now.. enjoy later! a tough decision to make but yet fulfilling.

Enough of sad stories that make tears flow like flushing toilet.. what more can i hope for.. i got a girlfriend worthy to be called a gift from heaven, a loving supportive family, a great bunch of good frenz.. i really have no room left to grieve.. leaving all these people may hurt.. but i do know one thing.. my mind is set on maintaining all relationships i have.. no matter where i am or what they are doing.. and i am staunch on decisions.. looking at it this way.. i feel much better.. trust i what i have..

Tomorrow will be a superb daY.. gonna get a watch first, finally i get to see something decent other than a suntan on my hand.. and head down to sharon's bday party, that hobbit is finally turning 21! hahaa in the event that she really does visit my blog and see this comment, i just pray she is maganimous enough to forgive me coz she does have the biggest heart i know..

*rather than giving a little for many, why not give all for someone*

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Lip En pours his heart again
at |6:42 PM|

Thursday, August 24, 2006

ok... a narrated story of what happened..

4pm: met dear at city hall mrt station.. went to tcc to get our daily caffeine boost..
5.30pm: took a cab down to grand corpthone hotel (supposed to be a secret location until someone couldn't take me to the location on time)
6.00pm : announcement of my bday to hotel staff and commencement of a sumptous buffet
7.30pm : present given to me by hotel staff, a golden box nicely decorated with a green ribbon.
8.00pm : left grand corpthone hotel with 100% filled bellies and a nice walk down zion road to take 195 heading to clarke quay
8.40pm : reached clarke quay and enter Brewerkz, saw junxian, nikkole, zhijian, sebas, guofeng, colin and the whole gin gang down there..
8.45pm : birthday song was sang and candle was lit
8.50pm - onwards... : thank you speeches was exchanged, hugs and kisses ( to miran only) fly around, beer was drunk, and lip en starts getting tipsy.. and so on..


At first, i was happy with just expecting a simple birthday affair with dear for my 21st.. i was happy enough eating at grand corpthone, chilling out at a bar afterwards and all.. but the surprise at brewerkz left me choked with emotions.. the fulfilling sense of brotherhood, the love and consideration from miranda, the thoughtfullness of it all touched the inner trenches of my heart.. i felt that my existance has proven its worth somehow..

A many thanks and gratitude to miran for organising this meetup for me.. i just cannot thank her enough.. ask her and u know how many times i said thaNKS.. haha well.. not to mention her only.. the rest of the people who came down.. colin, guofeng, ervin, junxian, nikkole, sebas, kelvin, michael, alvin, zhijian thank you so much for taking the effort to come down.. and trying to get me drunk.. much to your delightment, u guys succeeded.. i'm now typing this blog with a slight headache throbbing at the back of my head.. this had been the best birthday i had in my life..loads of love for you.. my darling... you are truly one and only..

after la liang-ing a while at miran's house after i sent her home.. i took a cab down and proceeded to the airport to send kaijian off.. it was quite a sad affair.. kaijian teared towards the end... it only serves as a starking reminder of how i will feel when i am going next month.. will i tear.. will i cry? i really don't know.. however my excitement on heading on to a new environment is keeping me going on.. as the days go by... i get an impending sense of loss.. i can't seem to keep myself hyper and enthu as much as i can last time.. this isn't me.... something gotta be done.. and friends.. i am gonna miss u guys damn a lot.. i truly mean it...





















*time and tide waits for no man*

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Lip En pours his heart again
at |6:47 AM|

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

ok.. i think i am one of the endangered species on this planet who haven't started a blog yet.. so here goes.. this is my very first blog.. meant to be used by myself to keep as a journal as well as to let people here in Singapore keep track of how i am and what i am doing throughout my stay in London.. it is extremely irritating if u gotta repeat your happenings a few times a day when u go online, be it webcam or simply msn.

Yup.. so this is my very first post.. and today is 23/08/85.. officially i turn 21 today.. maybe i should catch a RA movie first? there are just a few more possibilities opened up... yup.. got a huge surprise when i reached home.. dear miran gave me a birthday message whom she tasked my sis to put under my pillow in the morning... i was really touched when i read it.. but as usual, i have no tears to spare.. i wonder if my tear glands are seriously there sometimes.. anyway back to the present.. ya.. she promised a great birthday date ahead too. i am seriously looking forward to it.. despite my numerous probing and interrogation skills, she can't seem to budge and give me the answer as to where we are going.. clues are : there is water, and it is outdoors.. so.. maybe it is macritchie reservoir? hahaa i shall see.. anyway i really appreciate all the presents given to me during my celebration on 20th.. it was very very nice to see all my old friends around, these are the people i really want to be in touch with next time.. of course there are other people i want to be in touch with but i can't possibly invite all.. so.. cheers to this friendship..

Till tonight....

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Lip En pours his heart again
at |4:05 AM|